When we see other people’s successes, it can be tempting to believe that it came easily to them. Or that it was our bad luck that meant we weren’t successful too.
But the truth is that at the heart of almost every successful business, career or relationship there has been some form of failure.
You’ve probably heard the stories of famous people who talk about all the failures that they had before their fabulous successes. For example, the author J.K Rowling says:
“Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will and more discipline than I suspected.”
As uncomfortable as it feels, failure is essential to our self-development and to build our confidence.
I have had my own experience of failures. Such as; when I’ve developed new coaching programmes or tried new marketing methods, which came to nothing.
However, from these setbacks, I have become confident about what I do and resilient if things don’t go well.
If you feel like a fear of failure is holding you back then here’re 5 reasons not to:
You learn more from failure than success. A study at the University Of Colorado has shown that knowledge picked up from successes is easily forgotten. Whereas knowledge from failures tends to stick with us for years
It teaches you how to get up again and be resilient. The more you fail the more your resilience builds and although you may not want to fail, you’ll lose that fear of failure
You get better at taking risks. Those people who are the most confident and successful have a history of taking risks. Learning to step out of your comfort zone and taking even a small risk is essential to building confidence
It reminds you that every phase of life is temporary. What was a big issue at the time when you failed, often becomes less significant as time passes
You can use it to review what is important to you. If you fail to get a promotion or to achieve your goals it can remind you of what is more important in your life
If there’s a goal you want to achieve or an opportunity you’d like to take, but you’re scared you might fail. Then remember that whatever the outcome is, it doesn’t affect who you are or your value to the world.
If you’d like to talk about your goals, your fear of failure or the confidence challenges you have then you can book a call with me at www.speakwithjo.com
Last week I was invited to be on the expert panel for the press launch of a report about ‘Why Diets Fail’ sponsored by XLS Medical.
Having read the report there were some really interesting facts about diets:
72% of us have tried a diet this year and a third have tried two or more
Of those almost half feel it’s failed in the first month
34% of dieters claim to have failed every diet they’ve tried, as they’ve put weight back on
Less than a quarter of dieters actually achieve their weight loss goals
At the launch, along with a fitness expert, a dietician and a food blogger we debated with a room of journalists what is needed for people to achieve a healthy diet resulting in weight loss? Rather than to go on a fad diet such as the ‘Kale and Chewing gum’ diet (yes it really exists!)
The number one reason for a diet failing, given by 41% of the OnePoll survey in this report, was a lack of motivation, followed by boredom, stress and time restraints.
So what causes this lack of motivation?
A lack of realistic goals. Expecting a rapid weight loss initially and for it to continue. It’s much better to aim for a 1/2lb loss each week as research has shown it can be more easily sustained
A lack of support and accountability. Having a group of friends or a professional to support you and keep you online with your goals, will maintain your motivation when your willpower weakens
Unrealistic goals. A goal of losing just 5 to 10% of your weight is realistic and will make a big difference to your health
Not enjoying your food. In our hectic lifestyles we may believe we should be reading emails, texting friends or catching up on tv when we’re eating. This means we don’t savour or taste our food or recognise the triggers of feeling full. Instead get rid of distractions and really enjoy your food, Mindfulness practice can also help you stay present.
Setting rigid rules. A more flexible approach to eating including allowing yourself small amounts of all the foods you crave, is much more likely to keep you motivated than a very restrictive diet
As well as all these positive actions to keep motivated the key element I believe, is to understand what your hunger is really for and why you want to eat.
Quite often we eat to get rid of, or numb bad feelings rather than actually being physically hungry. We need to understand and recognise our emotional eating patterns to be able to change them.
In our childhood when we feel sad or hurt or bored, we’re often given a hug or a treat to make us feel better. As if feeling uncomfortable is a bad thing which we need to get rid of. So it’s not surprising that we then learn to eat to comfort or reward ourselves.
How many times have you reached for a chocolate bar or glass of wine when you felt bored or stressed?
By understanding whether the hunger is emotional or physical you can start to make better choices as well as accept yourself just as you are.