When we see other people’s successes, it can be tempting to believe that it came easily to them. Or that it was our bad luck that meant we weren’t successful too.
But the truth is that at the heart of almost every successful business, career or relationship there has been some form of failure.
You’ve probably heard the stories of famous people who talk about all the failures that they had before their fabulous successes. For example, the author J.K Rowling says:
“Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will and more discipline than I suspected.”
As uncomfortable as it feels, failure is essential to our self-development and to build our confidence.
I have had my own experience of failures. Such as; when I’ve developed new coaching programmes or tried new marketing methods, which came to nothing.
However, from these setbacks, I have become confident about what I do and resilient if things don’t go well.
If you feel like a fear of failure is holding you back then here’re 5 reasons not to:
You learn more from failure than success. A study at the University Of Colorado has shown that knowledge picked up from successes is easily forgotten. Whereas knowledge from failures tends to stick with us for years
It teaches you how to get up again and be resilient. The more you fail the more your resilience builds and although you may not want to fail, you’ll lose that fear of failure
You get better at taking risks. Those people who are the most confident and successful have a history of taking risks. Learning to step out of your comfort zone and taking even a small risk is essential to building confidence
It reminds you that every phase of life is temporary. What was a big issue at the time when you failed, often becomes less significant as time passes
You can use it to review what is important to you. If you fail to get a promotion or to achieve your goals it can remind you of what is more important in your life
If there’s a goal you want to achieve or an opportunity you’d like to take, but you’re scared you might fail. Then remember that whatever the outcome is, it doesn’t affect who you are or your value to the world.
If you’d like to talk about your goals, your fear of failure or the confidence challenges you have then you can book a call with me at www.speakwithjo.com
Being in a bad mood is a natural part of the rollercoaster of a human experience.
However, when you have those feelings of anger, sadness, hurt or irritability it can feel like you’re in the middle of a storm.
Well, you are. You’re actually in the middle of a thought storm.
Your thinking, at that moment, is like a low-pressure front moving across a weather map. You can’t do anything to control it, but you can manage your reaction. You also need to remember, that like all weather storms it will pass and fresh weather will be along shortly.
So how can you cope with those turbulent feelings of a bad mood?
Separate yourself from those inner voices. If you look back to when your mood changed, you’ll probably realise that it was when your thoughts started telling you negative things about what was happening. So it’s not just the circumstances that are causing your bad mood, but the story your inner voice is telling you about them. If you can, separate yourself from those thoughts by ignoring them, not engaging with them and not believing them. Then the feelings they cause will dampen down.
Try not to take it personally. If your bad mood is the result of someone else’s behaviour or words. Then try to take yourself out of the situation and think about how the other person must be struggling. For them to be behaving this way, their thinking must be very stormy and uncomfortable. If you can respond to them neutrally or with compassion, it will help your mood.
Slow down. A bad mood is generally very energetic, your mind is whirling and overthinking. Slowing down will help you to see any problems with more clarity. You could try breathing exercises, Mindfulness or Meditation to help.
Exercise. It’s common knowledge, that regular exercise releases endorphins, which boost your mood. But, you don’t have to be a gym bunny, any form of gentle exercise will help.
Do something you enjoy. This sounds obvious, but a lot of people when they’re in a bad mood will sit and stew on it. Instead watch a nature programme, phone a friend etc. Even if you don’t think it’ll help, once you’ve started, you’ll probably notice the bad thoughts have passed.
Before writing this blog I was feeling irritable about not achieving much today. It wasn’t until I was nearly finished that I even realised that those feelings had gone.
Don’t sit and analyse and feed your bad mood, get on with life, until the storm has passed.