Are you someone who works really hard to ensure every detail on a project is ‘right’? Do you hate making a mistake and see it as a failure? Maybe you procrastinate about starting a task in case it’s too difficult and you can’t do it perfectly?
These are some of the traits of perfectionism and most are founded in judgement.
We all have our own set of rules and standards that we expect not just ourselves but sometimes others to adhere to.
When we decide that we haven’t reached the required standard (usually an impossible 100%) out will come the judge and jury and we’ll be found guilty of making mistakes and not being good enough.
This harsh self-judgement results in us trying to control external factors over which we have little or no control. In fact, as a result, those factors get to control us instead!
No wonder we feel stressed, anxious and that our enjoyment and fulfilment of life is limited.
It is possible to free yourself from the rules and unrealistic expectations that drive your perfectionism
Try these 3 steps to help ease the perfectionist pressure (and don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t work perfectly!)
Drop the judgement – rather than your perfectionist traits being something ‘wrong’ with you. Focus on how they have given you the drive and motivation to achieve all you have.
Use this drive to empower you to continue achieving, but without the limitation of rules and standards. Be curious about what success you might have.
Be authentic – take the spotlight off being perfect and instead turn it on to being you. What do you value, what would success mean to you, what does a ‘better but not perfect you’ look like?
Stop judging others – When we are harsh judges of ourselves we generally are tough on others too. Look at others with curiosity and compassion instead and you’ll find you naturally see yourself in the same way.
By losing the judgement and having curiosity and compassion instead, life feels less of a battle.
If you’d like to explore your perfectionist challenges or get some free resources then I’d love to hear from you. Just reply to this email or book a free call with me at www.speakwithjo.com
If you find it hard to accept compliments and praise, are over sensitive to comments or like to please people and can’t say no, then it is likely that you have low self esteem.
Low self confidence is defined as what you think your ‘personal value or worth is’. So to determine your level of self esteem you need to honestly answer the question “How do I feel about who I am?”
Self esteem isn’t something that you are born with and no one can give it to you, it is something we learn. The good news is that it can be learned at any stage of life with the right tools and a positive mindset.
The key to improving self-esteem is to understand the negative beliefs you have about yourself and to challenge and then change them. As your coach I would help you through this process using exercises and techniques to replace your negative beliefs with more positive ones.
Low self esteem affects all aspects of your life, including work, relationships and social life. When you don’t value yourself you tend to avoid situations where you may feel uncomfortable or lack confidence. As a result you are not enjoying life to it’s full or reaching your potential. With support you can change your negative beliefs, really value yourself and become the ‘best you can be’
To find out more about my self esteem and confidence coaching programme please contact me.
Improve Self Confidence