Welcome to the Confidence for Coaching 18th Newsletter
5 Steps To Letting Go of Pain and Resentment – Are you struggling to forgive someone or unable to forget a past difficult situation? Then these 5 steps could help you
How to Stop Being a Perfectionist at Work
Quote of the Month
5 Steps To Letting Go of Pain and Resentment
Janeâ€™s husband had an affair and despite her forgiving him and trying to rebuild their marriage, he eventually left her for the other women. Two years later Jane has rebuilt her life but is still filled with resentment about her husband leaving and losing the future that they had planned.
When Jane came to see me she was struggling to feel fulfilled and content with her current life as she was stuck in negative emotions about the past that drained and disempowered her. Jane couldnâ€™t understand why she still hadnâ€™t let go of her anger and resentment even though sheâ€™d tried. I explained that when we have negative emotions and habits that we canâ€™t change it can be because there are some benefits or advantages to keeping them that we may not be aware of.
Wanting to be the best and achieve the best is a great motivator in work and life. Ask any sportsman and as youâ€™d expect they are focused on winning, by performing at the highest standard, avoiding mistakes and beating the competition. Society rewards their high performance with financial rewards and fame and the same is true of careers in business.
Whilst healthy ambition is a trait to be admired perfectionism takes it a step further and has been defined by Brene Brown (researcher and author) as â€œa self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment and blameâ€.