How would you rate your self esteem?
Ask yourself the question “How do I feel about who I am?” Your answer to this is a measure of your self esteem and of how much you value yourself. If you believe that you can do anything you want and if comments or criticism from other people tend not to bother you, then you probably have high self esteem. However for others, your self esteem may vary according to your circumstances and may be low in certain trigger situations.
Self esteem isn’t something that you are born with and no one can give it to you, it is something we learn. The good news is that it can be learned at any stage of life with the right tools and a positive mindset.
I was brought up by a mother who believed it wasn’t ‘nice’ to put your own feelings first, that the needs and wants of other people should be a priority. This was just a reflection of my mum’s upbringing and of society at the time. The knock on effect was to lower my self esteem. It is something I have worked on positively to improve.
If you find it hard to accept compliments and praise, or like to please people and can’t say no to them, then it is likely that you have low self esteem. Other warning signs are:
- Difficulty in making decisions – this can be because you don’t trust yourself to make the right choice or because you’re putting the feelings of others before your own
- Putting people down or looking down on others – perhaps just in fun, but this shows your insecurities as people who have a good self esteem will respect everyone.
- Controlling others – this is a sign that you feel threatened and not able to control your own life.
- Blaming others or circumstances – if you have high self esteem you would be able to take responsibility and focus on changing the outcome rather than blaming others
- Over sensitivity – to other peoples criticism or comments.
Help with low self esteem
If you have recognised yourself in any of these behaviours then don’t panic as self esteem can be built, however it can only be done by you.
The key to improving self-esteem is to understand the negative beliefs you have about yourself and to challenge and then change them. This process can take a while and it is often helpful to be supported by a professional who can ask you appropriate questions such as, “What do you think are your failings and weaknesses?” or, “What do you think your friends would say that is negative about you?“. – Once you have identified your negative beliefs about yourself you can then challenge and change them.
For other ideas on how to improve your self esteem, visit my website improving self esteem or contact me on 07802 714305
Low self esteem affects all aspects of your life, including work, relationships and social life. When you don’t value yourself you tend to avoid situations where you may feel uncomfortable or lack confidence. As a result you are not enjoying life to it’s full or reaching your potential. With support you can change your negative beliefs, really value yourself and become the ‘best you can be’