Are you a People Pleaser?
Have you ever been in a situation where someone you find intimidating is stating an opinion you don’t agree with? Do you challenge this person assertively or do you try to keep them happy by staying neutral, after all it’s not that important?
We all want to please people. We are hard wired to feel that way. The ironic thing is that by trying to please everyone the only person left displeased is you. This can lead to a boiling pot of resentment inside you and the feeling that you’ve let yourself down. Longer term if you continue not to be true to yourself and your wants and feelings, you may end up damaging your relationships. The extra workload you accept can also cause anxiety and stress and reinforce your lack of self-esteem.
Am I a People Pleaser?
Do any of these statements ever apply to you?
- I want everyone to get a long
- I avoid getting angry
- I try to be nice rather than expressing how I feel
- It’s easier to go along with what someone else says or wants rather than cause upset
- I try to be the person X wants me to be
- I like to have lots of friends who need me
If any of these statements apply to you in certain situations or with some people then you could benefit from some strategies to reduce your people pleasing behaviour.
How to break the habit of People Pleasing
Here are a few tips to help you and if you would like to learn more about coaching for People Pleasers please contact me
- Recognise when you are doing something for someone else that is against your needs or feelings
- Know the difference between helping and pleasing. Helping others when you genuinely want to is still fine
- Be aware of any bad feelings when you are pleasing others. This could mean you are ignoring your own wants and feelings
- Don’t be afraid of being thought aggressive or selfish. You are so far at the other end of the scale there is no danger of that!
- You have as much right to an opinion as anyone else, don’t be afraid to voice it
- Be empathetic when you say no, show an understanding of their situation