“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.” ~ Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby
I hope you found step 3 useful. The next part of the process of self-acceptance is to learn about self-sabotage and to become aware of when you are sabotaging yourself and your goals. The reasons that you may self-sabotage are:
If you are expecting to fail because you don’t believe in yourself, you might ensure you make this happens
When things are going well you may bring about failure to ensure you’re still in control, as you believe it will all go wrong soon anyway
Habits such as alcohol, drugs and anger
The need for something different to happen or to ensure a change or to create excitement.
Perfectionism. If it’s not perfect you may sabotage it as it’s not good enough
It is the negative critic inside you that can encourage you to doubt yourself or expect failure. If you can become aware of this voice and challenge, ignore or replace it with a positive thought, then you can avoid the sabotage.
My recommended exercise for step 4 is:
Listen out for that negative self critic voice and write down what it says.
When you have recognised a repeating phrase or theme then challenge yourself as to logically how true these statements are
Whenever you hear the voice again you can tell yourself it is wrong and to ignore it
When you can accept yourself and not the negative voice, you’ll find the voice gets quieter and quieter and your true self becomes louder.