A recent study commissioned by Weight Watchers in the UK showed that 86% of women admit they could be kinder to themselves and 82% admitted they need a stronger relationship with themselves.
As women we are often told from an early age that we should put others before ourselves and be kind and polite. Our female role models, including our mothers may have also demonstrated this learned behaviour of putting themselves last and being a self-critic.
So despite all the steps forward women have made in becoming empowered, internally we still treat ourselves with less respect and kindness.
How can you start to be kinder to yourself?
Be Aware Of Your Self-Talk. Notice the way you speak to yourself and to others about yourself. Stop the negative talk immediately by distracting yourself or agreeing a no negative talk pact with your friends. Remember this quote
“If you spoke to your friends the way you speak to yourself, would they still be your friends?
2. Stop People Pleasing. Do you say yes to doing things for people or agree with them just to avoid upsetting anyone? Try putting boundaries in place which can be just as simple as saying no, or saying how you really feel. If you can speak honestly and with kindness, you will gain their respect.
3. Understand What You Really Think And Want. If you’ve spent years pleasing others or afraid to speak up you may find it difficult at first to know what you enjoy and what opinions you have. Take some time out by yourself to become aware of what is important to you
4. Be Realistic With Yourself. Do you set yourself really high standards then beat yourself up for not achieving them? Life isn’t a competition and if you can appreciate that mistakes help you grow as well as celebrating your successes, you are being much more realistic
5. Watch Who You Spend Time With. Being around negative people is very draining and can pull you down. Nobody is positive all the time but try to avoid those that encourage you into mutual negativity
If you can work on these 5 tips you’ll start to feel more compassionate towards yourself and realise that actually you’re pretty okay as you are!