We all have situations in life that don’t turn out the way we think they could or should. Whether it’s an unsuccessful job interview, a failed relationship or a holiday that doesn’t live up to your expectations.
However disappointed or hurt you may feel, in order to move forward you will need (at the right time) to leave the experience behind you.
It can be difficult to let go of a negative experience especially if you find yourself going over and over the scenario in your head. Thinking about how you should have behaved or what you could have said makes no difference to the situation now and can only trap you in the past.
If you’ve made the definite decision that you want to leave the issue behind and move forward here are four tips to help you achieve it:
Stop making excuses. Identify your role in the situation and accept responsibility for any mistakes you made. Making excuses and defending yourself only prevents you from accepting the reality and then being ready to let go.
Forgive yourself. Whatever mistakes you made you can learn from them and move forward. You are human and sometimes we don’t make the best choices, however remember you are still a ‘good enough’ person.
It’s okay to not feel okay! When life is difficult and you’ve gone through a tough time you will feel like your not okay and that in itself is okay and normal. You will start to feel flashes of being okay again so be compassionate to yourself in the meantime.
Avoid ruminating. Going over and over the problem or analysing the situation will only extend your suffering and won’t provide you with answers or solutions. Take any learnings from your experience and don’t punish yourself by reliving it.
By keeping your focus on the present and the opportunities for the future you will find it much easier to leave things behind and move forward.