Many of my clients with low confidence feel they have to put on a brave face for the world and not to show how vulnerable they feel.
I’d like to tell you about one client in particular behind whose brave face there were a number of issues.
From the outside Sarah had a great life; a nice home, her husband had a good job, they had a son and Sarah worked part-time.
Inside though Sarah was crumbling, she couldn’t understand why she was’t happy and when she felt like this she would give herself a hard time for not being grateful and content.
From the moment Sarah woke up she would be worrying.
It started with looking in the mirror and not being happy with what she saw, then what clothes could she put on to feel better, as nothing did, she would go for the plainest outfit to ensure she wouldn’t stand out at work.
Leaving her son at the childminders (another source of worry, should she be at home with him instead of working?) Sarah would then worry about how she was performing at work, all she had to do and whether her boss thought she was any good. Or perhaps she’d worry about what her colleagues thought of her and what they were laughing about yesterday?
Despite this constant chatter in her mind Sarah managed to put a brave face on for anyone she interacted with, so no one really knew what she was feeling.
In fact the mask she was wearing meant that others couldn’t connect easily with her and she could come across a little stand offish.
If instead Sarah had allowed herself to share with others her worries and her vulnerabilities she would have found a greater connection with colleagues and friends. This would allow her to realise that she wasn’t the only one with internal worries and that everyone has low times, which do pass.
Sarah realised she couldn’t continue feeling like this.
Having come to see me we worked on the beliefs she had that caused her lack of self-esteem, as well as techniques to build her confidence and to reduce her worrying.
Sarah still has some issues which she continues to work on but has made great steps forward in confidence and that means she doesn’t always have to wear her brave face.
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She Always Put On A Brave Face