Judging others and making comparisons between yourself and them is a natural human behaviour. But, if you take other people’s judgement of you as real, it allows them to have control over you and how you live your life.
If you have ever been on the receiving end (and most of us have) of colleagues, friends or strangers judgement. Then you will know how it can paralyse and make you feel powerless.
I remember a time in my life when things were going well. My career was taking off and I was excited about the future. That was the exact moment when a colleague I thought of as a friend, began making negative judgements about me.
I recognised that their comments and behaviour came from their insecurities, but that didn’t stop them from being hurtful and triggering my self-doubts. Over time I realised I had 3 choices; I could either continue to be upset, be held back and controlled by their judgement, or fightback defensively, causing conflict and distracting me from my goals or choose to move forward regardless, trusting my own intuition and value.
I chose number 3, and although it wasn’t easy, with practice I now find it much simpler to carry on regardless of others judgements.
What was the powerful secret?
For me, the moment I realised I didn’t have to be ruled by others judgement, was when I recognised I had the option to value myself and my life rather than worry about others.
When you make the choice to focus on you and being your best, rather than worrying what others think. You keep a hold on your power and energy, instead of giving it to those that judge.
Yes, it can be uncomfortable if you think you will offend others or they will disagree with you. But every time you choose to trust yourself and internally validate your decisions, you take a step towards a more positive life.
Challenge yourself today. The next time you are judged negatively or fear you might be judged, choose to value yourself and your beliefs instead.
You may be surprised at the positive and unexpected changes it brings.
One choice you might fear to make in case you are judged is to reach out for support in your journey to confidence and career success. If you are looking to make that choice then I’d love to have a chat with you and I promise I won’t be judging you!