‘10 Things You Like About Yourself’ is an exercise I use with some clients to develop a positive self-perception and build their self-esteem.
It sounds very simple however it’s more about the process they go through to make the list, than the exact words they use.
One client of mine, Jane (she gave her permission for this) found the exercise incredibly difficult. She struggled to find any positive words about herself, despite easily being able to list her negatives.
I suggested she asked her family, friends and colleagues at work for 3 positive words about her character. She bravely took that step out of her comfort zone. Using me as her reason, she was empowered to get answers from all the people she requested.
Initially she was quite dismissive of the words they gave her. “They’re just being kind” or “they don’t know me very well“.
However when she began to see a pattern in the words used ‘kind, caring, loyal, organised…..’ she started to believe and accept them. This has led to a real change in how she sees herself and her value.
It’s amazing that such a simple exercise can have such powerful outcomes. However it’s also sad that many women don’t actually recognise or celebrate their positive qualities.
How easy would you find this exercise?
How often do you say something positive about yourself to another person?
I’m not suggesting you have to continually blow your own trumpet, just a passing remark is enough to boost your own confidence. Such as “that was a really difficult meeting, but I think I handled it well” to a colleague. Or “I’m really pleased with how my daughters party went, all the organisation I did was worth it” to a friend.
It will probably feel uncomfortable initially, but keep practising as it’s such a powerful message to your self-esteem and confidence that you value yourself.
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