My 9 year old son and his sister were going on an outdoor activity day today and last night he was very upset and saying he didn’t want to go. I knew they would both love the activities so I realised the reason for his refusal to go was being in a group with people he didn’t know for a day and that scared him.
A lot of adults in a similar situation would also feel nervous and anxious and I understood his worries, even if he wouldn’t admit to them. His pessimistic mindset about how the day would turn out surprised me and got me thinking about how in other situations we avoid or procrastinate about doing things because we’re worried that they might be difficult.
It could be a project at work that you haven’t started yet because it feels overwhelming and stressful. Instead of getting on with it you keep busy doing lots of other smaller actions that you feel comfortable with.
Perhaps it’s joining a new club or looking for a new career. Whatever the challenge is staying in your comfort zone and not giving it a go will stop you from moving forward in your life and affect your self-esteem and confidence.
“You can’t achieve happiness or peace by avoiding life.”
If you keep an open-mind and don’t focus on the possible difficulties that could occur, the outcome will either be you achieve what you want or you will have learnt from it and there is no better way to boost your confidence.
Getting back to my son, I tried to explore with him the benefits of keeping an open-mind and being curious about what might happen, rather than a closed-mind that had already decided it would be awful. I suspect though it might have been the bribery of McDonalds,which he could have if he went in with a good attitude, that actually worked. However when he arrived we found one of his classmates was also attending, an unexpected bonus and I left him very happy.
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How To Stop Avoiding Things You Think Might Be Difficult