What Do You Really Want?

It’s quite natural to want or desire something in our lives; whether that’s world peace or a pair of Jimmy Choo’s, isn’t important.

But why we think we want them, and what we believe they will give us, does matter.Really-want-motivational-coaching-quote

The Oxford Dictionary defines the verb “want” as “to have a desire to possess or do something”. and the noun as  “a lack or deficiency of something”.

That feeling of desiring or lacking something can have a profound effect on our happiness and confidence.

When I started to think about the things I wanted or wished for (after world peace obviously!). I realised there was quite a lot, and that wanting things quite often popped into my thoughts.

At the time of writing this blog I came up with my current top 6:

  1. I want to book a family holiday
  2. I wish I could have a cleaner every day
  3. I want an All Saints top that appeared in my browser
  4. I wish I was nearer my friend whose Dad has just died
  5. I want to finish that open bag of Werthers sweets
  6. I wish there was more time in a day

Some of my wants aren’t achievable, such as more time in the day. Others aren’t exactly a necessity, like a cleaner every day and some are just greed!

It did make me think, though, about how these thoughts might be affecting my self-esteem and happiness. Also, do I really want those things, or am I just being manipulated by marketing?

When I started to reflect on these questions, I realised that wanting things was often my natural reaction to a situation. For example:

  • Feeling overwhelmed – I want a holiday or a cleaner
  • Need to earn more money – I want a quick fix marketing programme
  • A friend buys a new outfit – I wish I could have a new outfit too
  • Feeling sad or guilty – I want to do something to help others
  • Feeling bored – I want that bag of sweets

not all wanting is a bad thing, but perhaps rather than just wanting a distraction, a quick fix or to feel better. I could focus on my emotions and real needs in that moment, which is far more likely to boost my confidence and self-esteem than reaching for a credit card.

My tips for you would therefore be:

Take some time to think about the things you’re wanting. Question yourself, why you want them and what they are really trying to solve. Is there a different way you could meet that need?

I found it an interesting exercise, although it hasn’t stopped me lusting for those Jimmy Choos!!

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Thanks and enjoy,







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